


Sweetest of Friends, Bitterest of Rivals: Brothers

by Gemini_Baby



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Bonding Through Trauma, Brotherly Bonding, Cuddling & Snuggling, Damian Wayne & Bruce Wayne - Freeform, Damian Wayne & Colin Wilkes - Freeform, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Good Sibling Damian Wayne, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Kicking Your Brother In The Shin Is Sometimes A Way To Say 'I Love You'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_Baby/pseuds/Gemini_Baby
Summary: Damian has been learning that its okay to seek for comfort. But when his two elder brothers need him to comfort them, he realizes that he has not been on the other end much. That doesn't mean he is not going to try. Nothing is going to stop him from trying him to be a good younger sibling. In the process, he also learns some things about his brothers and they learn some things about him.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne
Comments: 9
Kudos: 176
Collections: BatFam Winter Gift Exchange 2020





	Sweetest of Friends, Bitterest of Rivals: Brothers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DawnsEternalLight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnsEternalLight/gifts).



> For Matina, I hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> Fav character: Damian Wayne  
> Three Favorite relationships: Damian & Dick, Damian & Bruce, Damian & Jason (all non-romantic)  
> What are three things you love to see? (Think tropes or moods) Hurt/comfort, bonding through trauma, hugs

The winter season in Gotham always brings some things along with it annually (or at least the few years he has lived here); more themed based villains, a festival, fireworks show at various parts of the city, Todd-less Gotham, Father making ugly sweaters for Nightwing to go with his suit and Richard always patrolling without it, Brown and his’ marathon of Barbie movies, a book exchange through the mail with Todd, borrowing sweaters from Father’s cupboard, sneaking and sipping the hot beverages from Father’s cup, enjoying the once surprised and now amused look of Father whenever he spots Damian sipping _his_ beverage while wearing Father’s sweater he took out last night planning to wear the next day, looking forward to the days when Richard would visit, baking with Pennyworth, and _not_ looking forward to the endless school assignments because: ‘the-holidays-are for-homework-not-idleness’ argument used to justify the heavy amount of homework students are given. He may not actually celebrate the holidays but every kid should be free of homework and tasks, at least during this time. He _will_ act like a child on this argument and maybe one day give in the urge to stomp his feet in protest too.

At the resentment of cruel torture (read: homework), if Todd were in his place, he would say: “So what. He is bitter. Sue him!” Damian is not sure how he would be able to say that. He is pretty sure if he said that out loud, Father and his siblings would squawk and think that their youngest might have been replaced by another one. Maybe he can just say it and blame it on Todd. Todd and his influence.

Maybe...he is missing Todd. Sue him.

The annual fireworks show tradition in Gotham had started two years ago. Now, it happens in all the major areas and some minor areas of the city. Fireworks and Todd don’t mix. He gets reminded of the explosion. Something he shared with Damian, a year ago, after a run-in with Scarecrow and Fear Toxin and the show was going on in the background at that time.

The loud noise of the firework almost makes Damian jump as he makes his way to the library with Colin. It was the last day at school today. Last day of homework, it was not.

Technically, it is evening right now. But due to the winter season, it is already dark. Dark somehow means time to terrorize Gotham, in the rogues’ dictionary. And that's how vigilantes have to be out even at 6 pm.

He is not on the roster for patrol tonight. That is _good_ in a way. At least for anyone who tries something... _funny_ tonight. Damian’s bitterness about academics seeping into his punches...that would be violent. It is with this thought that he realizes that the bitterness and academics overload might be the reason why at least eighty percent of the Gotham rogues are PhD doctors. Damian himself can _feel_ the temptation right now.

(Too bad almost all the cool subjects for villain paths have already been taken. Chemistry by Scarecrow, Botany by Ivy, Psychology by Quinn, ‘Meat preservation and Food Sciences’ by Freeze, Cosmetics by the animal-themed-villain-who must-not-be-named, Business by Penguin and Black Mask, and even theatrics and _Literature_ , by Red Hood (if people counts Red Hood as a villain that is.)

(Literature and Red Hood’s status as a hero, anti-hero, or a villain, both are up to the interpretation of an individual.)

Damian huffs and shakes his head. He is _not_ going to become a villain. 

They reach their spot in the library.

This corner in the library, on the South End of Gotham City, is his favourite. Todd first brought him here; to this library and this corner. It is one of the few discussion places where classmates could gather after being partnered in pairs and go over their assignments. This corner has little to no outside noise and easy access to the shelves full of literature he needs for homework and loves for reading. 

This evening, he brought Colin with him here. Introduced him to his favourite place. They had been partnered up by their English teacher today. The assignment assigned at that time was something Damian liked; as much as someone could love a school assignment on the topics they were passionate about.

Right now he and Colin are going over the paper with the assignment’s details. He is somewhat excited by the project only if that means as soon as they finish it, it would be freedom. 

“Ms Grace asked us to pick something poetic and having symbolism. That should mean poetry-”

“But”

“- but she wants us to pick something with those elements _in prose!_ ”

“That is the assignment, yes.”

“Dami!”

“Yes?”

“You do understand that even if we manage to find a book which has the elements required, it would still take a lot of time, right?”

“How?”

“We will have to go through a lot of books. Then _after_ we manage to find the book, we will have to first read it. Then try to understand it. Then analyze it. Then check if the analysis even matches or if the symbolism slash poetry wrapped in prose went all the way over our heads and we end up more confused.”

“That is a valid concern.”

“See?”

“But we also have the option to select a short story if we want. This way we can avoid the time spent looking for _the_ book.”

“Please tell me you have a short story in mind.”

Damian stares, thinking.

“Don’t give me that look. We have been staring at screens for almost the whole today in school and my eyes will start stinging if I have to stare at a screen any longer.”

Colin is right. His own eyes are close to stinging as well. He tries to think of any short story they can go with. Why is it when it comes to assignments and selecting books to read for school that his mind goes blank? He is part of a weekly reading club! Todd and he even switched to short stories from novels recently because of the shortage of time and his elder brother travelling. Huh. They did read a story like that three weeks ago. “We can select Oscar Wilde’s _The Nightingale and the Rose.”_

“Will it be available here?”

“Yes. on the shelf behind us, there are collections of short stories. It is also available on the internet.”

“Please tell me it is not heart wrenching.”

“It is, in a way.”

“ _Dami!”_

Damian shrugs. They need it for the assignment. Besides, the story is well-written, if sad.

“I will go and bring…”, Colin trails off and freezes.

He feels a presence behind him. Colin’s eyes in front of him have gone a bit wide. No doubt trying to decide what the proper reaction should be. Damian’s own instincts don’t scream at him for fight or flight. That means one thing: the person behind him is someone he deems safe. That means _nothing._ The people he had deemed safe, in the past, had hurt him the most.

He turns his head back. Behind him stood his tallest brother, right now trying to make himself small, as he shuffled from feet to feet.

_(Think of Hood and Todd is here.)_

As much as it is a pleasant surprise, it is jarring to see Todd tonight. Especially because of the loud fireworks going around, loudest in this area, and the fact that he himself messaged Damian that he would be cooped up in his safehouse, near to the outskirts of Gotham City, today the whole day.

“Akhi?”

“Hi Dami”, Todd whispers so low that had it not been a library and a corner so quiet, they would have totally missed it.

“Um, hi”, Colin greets.

“Hi”

“Am I….”, Todd starts, then shakes his head and continues, “I am sorry for interrupting you. But I need you for something a bit urgent so I am going to kidnap you.

“Kidnap”, Colin repeats; voice dripping with incredulity and caution. Damian can practically _hear_ his friend’s thought process. Incredulity because what type of kidnapper that man is? Caution because he is trying to kidnap his best friend. Incredulity and caution mixed because ‘how crazy this person must be to try kidnapping _Damian_!’.

Damian would have grinned at that, had his second oldest brother not been looking like Pennyworth wrote him out of his will.

Before Colin thinks of transforming, he should introduce them. 

“ _Akhi,_ this is my best friend, Colin”

“Colin, this is my elder brother, Todd.”

He doesn’t miss the subtle change and the _shyness-surprise-pride_ in his brother’s posture. He tries to bury down the bitter feeling that comes with the voices whispering in his head that this is maybe the first time his older brother has been introduced as ‘my _brother’,_ or at least the first time those two words have been uttered by anyone for him with pride and without any bitter feelings attached with them.

Maybe he can introduce Todd as his brother to his friends, next year when he, Maya and Suren have their little get-together gathering. That sounds like a good plan. 

But those thoughts are for later. Jason does not...he does not look fine.

“ _Akhi_ , what happened? Are you hurt?”

“I am not hurt”, his brother replies, clearly _not_ looking not hurt

“So no one is hurt. That’s good.”

Todd looks sheepish suddenly. Damian squints at him. “Who is hurt?”

“You have to first promise me you won’t kill me.”

“Of course I won’t. - “

“Phew”

“- Not before I get my red hood toy back.”

“...Nice to know my life is worth a kid meal’s toy of my alter ego.”

“That is precious and priceless.”

His brother mumbles something which suspiciously sounds like “at least the toy is”.

That was not his intention; to make his elder brother insecure or hurt him. He needs to be careful. Jason might have said that he is not hurt and maybe he isn’t...physically. He looks _wounded._

He looks similar to Damian’s reflection in a mirror from years ago he had accidentally seen; the look on his own face still haunts him to this day. 

(Grandfather had been training him in ‘holding his breath and not panicking exercises’ which is just a fancy set of words for burying him alive, time and again. One time, Grandfather told him beforehand that the exercise session would be happening in a few hours and he should be prepared and not disappoint him like all the previous times. The dread froze him on the spot. When he turned to retreat for the remaining time, he stopped abruptly as he caught the sight of someone in a mirror. It was hours later that he realized that it was _him_.)

Todd looks similar to that, currently.

He has to leave with his brother, now. No freedom from the evil clutches of homework, tonight.

He explains to Colin that he needs to go with his brother. Colin, the good friend he is, understands and tells him it is no problem and they might as well give their eyes some rest. Colin, the excited friend he is, also offers to drop Damian where he is needed, on his trike.

It would have been embarrassing but Todd had snorted at that amused. And that was the first Todd-like reaction he got to see this evening. So… it was worth it!

They drop Colin at his home. (Colin likes to call that place his home. But then Colin also calls himself Abuse in his alter ego.)

They make their way towards a grocery store which confuses Damian. Grocery store? Really, Todd?

Jason has set a fast pace but it's not his normally fast pace. Damian is two steps behind him because of his short height and small strides as compared to his brother’s. He also doesn’t miss the flinches whenever a particularly loud firework goes off.

They make it to the store. The aisle having hot chocolate packets, snacks and coffee, is free of the crowd. Damian risks asking the question while he eyes Jason grabbing some snacks; cookies, crisps and anything he gets his hands on and deems worthy of crunching and occupying a person distracting themselves with sound rather than taste.

“You are acting odd.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Who is hurt?”

“Big Bird? Maybe?”

“Richard?” He was not aware that Richard is in Gotham. If he wasn’t, they might have been speeding up to Bludhaven if Richard is hurt. “ _Maybe?_ ”

“Not hurt- _hurt_ but hurt”, Jason replies and huffs.

Damian gives him a questioning look.

“Look...I am trying not to exaggerate and make you even stiffer and alert than the moment I ‘kidnapped’ you but I am also trying to not... disregard Dick’s hurt”, Jason tells him as he returns back to the basket checking to make sure if he has put everything in. It looks like three days’ worth of snacks stash. For three vigilantes, it is hardly going to last some hours. “It’s confusing and hard, ‘kay?”

They make their way to Jason’s safehouse. Or at least, to its entrance. Who sets their safehouse on the 31st floor? Red Hood apparently, that’s who. And if that is not overkilling, the hundreds of mechanisms that need to be unlocked before entering are.

One would think his brother was hiding from someone very insistent and not ready for a lot of conversation. Damian looks behind. There is a door to another house but it is locked and the house seems empty. The glass on the door reflects Damian and that is when he realizes. That might have been him. Jason not ready for conversation and maybe food? And maybe that someone is _very_ insistent? Who does that someone remind him of? Ah yes. _Him._ Ready to visit Todd, the day he would have returned, having some conversations about the slander against _The Great Expectations’ Manga_ _Adaptation_ and also to drop some cucumber sandwiches from Pennyworth. Because they all are always teaching him about the importance of sharing. Certainly not because he doesn’t like them.

Damian blinks. Those mechanisms might not be because of him. Or at least not _only_ because of him. The mechanisms might have been in place so that Bizarro and Sasha don’t run outside in their excitement or anyone comes unexpectedly and becomes a danger to them. 

“Are you alright?” 

“I…I will be fine.”

“Todd.”

“I have seen better days and worse days”

“ _Akhi!”_

“...Dickiebird needs you.” 

“And you?”

“I will be fine”

“When did Richard come to Gotham? Why were you out? You said you wouldn’t be.”

“I also said the area around me wouldn’t have the loud fireworks. But...”, he gestures vaguely around. Damian can hear them loud and clear and his ears ring. He can’t even begin to feel what Todd is going through right now.

“Why?”

“Two words. My luck”

Damian could see his brother’s fingers shaking as he tries to punch the codes and disarm the locks-laced-with-explosives and is trying to compose himself several times. Maybe he can distract him? Not fully but a bit? Something similar to putting the jacket on someone’s shoulder and them making the decision to slide their arms into it? He doesn’t know if he would succeed but he can certainly try.

“Your luck. Which is both this”, he gestures vaguely around; an imitation of his brother’s own actions, “and good.”

“Good?” 

“Because you have 48555690 siblings, 2.5 kids, 5 friends, 1 father, and at least 6 mothers.”

“Wait!”

“Waiting.”

“When did they become 4855690 siblings from 3744509 siblings?” 

He can see the distraction thing working. A bit.

“I swear you die and return only to find out that your father has adopted 1111181 more children in your absence!”

Jason answered him with the right number.

“My condolences”

“Hey, did you check the counter after _you_ returned _?_ Or are you giving me the outdated information?”

“It is more updated than yours”

“Hmph” 

“To be honest, I thought your ‘wait!’ and realization in your eyes was going to be about your 2.5 children.”

“Hey. Unlike the Father-I-never-had, I _do_ know how many kids I have!” Never mind that Damian didn’t even know that Todd had people he considered _his children_.

“Where are they?”

“Well, the two of them are out of Gotham. They will be back in a couple of days,” Todd says as he looks down at Damian “and Point Five is currently being chattier than Dickiebird”. He says, giving him a knowing look.

Point five! He is not that short!

The thing is: it is Jason who is tall! Damian is not short!

Then he softly smiles at him. Damian wishes Todd smiled more; that he smiled more like that. He wished that _he_ could make his brother smile like that more. He has a nice smile.

“What me? Chatty? I am the silently-scowling one!”

“For only the ones who don’t really know you.”

“What a tragedy.”

“ _Or”,_ Todd drawls, “You have never had their brains for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

“How rude of me! I should have had yours for supper and brunch too.”

“Please no.”

Damian grins.

“You know...when you grin like that, it is unsettling”

“Good to know it is achieving the desired effect.”

“Whom did you scare off?”

“A couple of henchmen.”

Finally, they make it to Jason’s kitchen. Where he is taking out small plates and bowls for snacks maybe. Who would eat them? From what Damian has understood, if Richard is here and Todd ‘kidnapped’ him for that, that means he wants them to talk and maybe plans to tune them out while munching on the things, or at least pretend to.

“What exactly happened?”

“I was under my bed.”

“Hey don’t judge. Those were loud.”

“I am not. I am thinking.”

“That’s very dangerous.”

“It is about to be.”

“I would appreciate it if you don’t follow on whatever you are planning.”

“Akhi”

“I have a lot to deal with right now. I am not saying that I don’t appreciate the sentiment and your concern. I _do_.”

“But you are too exhausted to even imagine dealing with anything on top of what you are already?”

He sees his brother taking a shaky breath. “Yeah. What were you planning?”

Damian shrugs. Not sure if he should answer it. So instead he goes with, “Continue the story.”

“Alright. I was under the bed for a long time and forgot the time. Got out because of some insistent beeping.”

Fireworks. Beeping. Not fun. At least not for his brother. “I am sorry.”

“It was the distress beacon signal.”

He sees Jason taking a couple of deep breaths. “I should not have been there for that long. It had been beeping for a long time.”

“Whose?”

“It was Dick’s.”

Oh.

“When I reached the place where he was previously captured by some criminals, he was kinda frozen. Not literally, to clarify.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“It is winter and we have no scarcity of ice based villains. Besides, that man does not wear a jacket!”

Another one of the fireworks goes off startling both of them. And how much did Todd lock this safehouse? Todd is shaking again. “Maybe you can help me later? With designing a jacket, I mean. I have the material. You can design a jacket that would go well with his suit.”

“Sure.”

“If you tell him, I suggested or even hinted about contributing to this project, you are never getting my annotated copy of _Pride and Prejudice._ ”

“That’s unfair!”

“And so would be you tattling on me.”

“He was strapped to a chair. I got him out. But he didn’t move after that either.”

Richard. And not moving. Bad sign.

“He, uh, I think something triggered him.”

“Triggered?”

“I don’t know much, ‘kay? I only know the information which was on the file regarding his death which was next to nothing. But he died after being strapped to a chair.”

He would have fought with his brother for locking Richard inside. But he knows he doesn’t have the full story yet. 

“Why did you bring me?”

“To reassure him that he is alive. No longer in the clutches of whatever’s haunting him.”

“ _You_ could have done that too.”

“One, you being alive might mean to him that he is too. Second, I tried but he didn’t respond. Third, I can be easily chalked up to just being a ghost”, Jason replies from where he has slid down to the floor, curling his body, head between his knees and taking shuddering breaths.

“And I can’t?” they both have been dead. Almost all of them have been dead. Why would he not be chalked up to being a ghost? Especially when his is recent

“I have haunted Old Man and Dickie’s dreams, nightmares, memories far longer.”

“Todd.” Damian’s fingers itch to touch his brother’s shoulder but touch usually upsets him more than it comforts him, so he refrains.

“Familiar presence does not always mean a welcome one.”

“You left Richard alone!”

“What about me screams safe and friendly company, kid?!”

Now, they have resorted to whisper-yelling. Damian almost misses his homework stack.

“The fact that he called you.”

“Because I might have been the person he called last before so on the top of the list or whatever.”

“He called you before too?”

“They are doing a special show in ‘haven. He invited me.” Todd says and looks away. Then he gets up and gets the tray arranged as he leaves for the hall, Damian after him.

They are in the hall. They should be heading to where Richard is. According to Jason, there is a show in Bludhaven and Richard invited him to it. Considering the display of surprise and pride earlier, he should have been happy. But he looked spooked instead. The only show he knows that would be later this week in Bludhaven is the fireworks show. 

_Oh._

Richard must have invited him because the last two years he had taken a brother each. This year, he wants to do it with Todd.

“I said no.”

That’s why Jason looks hurt.

“He didn’t...he doesn’t know.”

“But it hurt,” Damian observes.

“He doesn’t know. I didn’t tell him or anyone.”

He wonders if Richard knows that Jason does _want_ to go to the show with him. Has been longing for two years, anticipating it even more when this year came and Richard had been taking his brothers annually from youngest to older.

Because Todd is usually not in the city during this time, he might have thought that he can power through the show when they go there. But him being stuck here has reminded him how bad this idea of. Just two days before the show in Bludhaven.

In the bedroom, Richard is on the bed curled up in a blanket and looking at nothing.

“Dickie.” There is no response. 

Damian goes where Richard is. “Richard?”

Richard blinks.

“See, he responds only to you,” Jason says _booping_ Richard’s nose. Richard kicks him in the shin as an answer. “See, that’s the response _I_ get _._ ”

Damian realizes he does not know how to comfort his brother. Considering what he said in the library to make Jason less sad might have made him sadder, Damian is not sure if he should take his chances with that here.

Isn’t that sad that he has no idea how to comfort his brother? His brothers have often comforted him in the past. And Damian knows nil in this department.

“Richard?”

There is almost no response.

Damian curls beside him, wrapping an arm around his eldest brother. Not unlike those times when he had gone to Richard’s room after a nightmare to seek comfort. Moments pass and then an arm is circling around Damian, pausing for a second when it meets Damian’s body and not thin air. He squeezes his brother in return and wishes that the gesture conveys all that are words and him are failing to, right now.

He does try to use his words though, tries to comfort and reassure that they both are alive and unharmed.

He does not get a verbal response but at times, the arm around him tightens, just a tiny bit.

The breathing of his brother gets evened out and soon Damian finds him following him.

Damian wakes up in the night because of cold feet and hands. The digital clock on the wall reads 2 AM.

He pulls himself from where he was lying and hops down the bed.

Damian goes and takes out the pile of folded blankets from the cupboards, taking them to the bedroom where both his elder brothers are lying on the far ends of the bed each. It’s cold. They both are shivering, yet they are lying far away from each other. Had Damian been in the position, they would have told him how lying down together bundled up was good and ensured more warmth.

He takes the blankets to the bed and starts rearranging them. Two for them each and then bigger ones for all of them. He leaves after doing this and heads to the kitchen, noticing the tray of snacks on his way out. He pulls the stool towards the cabinets, opening them and pulling out the mugs and the packets for hot chocolate. As he is rearranging the piece of furniture afterwards, the _toothpick_ nickname in Jason’s voice echoes in his head and he scowls to himself. His brother loves to give him nicknames based on his height.

Hm. Time to be a younger brother and come up with _annoying_ nicknames.

Or maybe…paint the hood green for a day?

No. that wouldn’t be fun _and_ annoying.

He busies himself in making the hot chocolate and sends a prayer that it turns out drinkable. If not, the…bitter sludge would make them appreciate Father’s cooking and beverages a bit more.

He remembers seeing a billboard of Red Hood and Arsenal doing some work or gig, as they called it, when he was flying over a city on Goliath. He remembers doing a double-take, laughing and then shaking his head as he left. He can definitely make some mock visiting cards featuring the content that was on the billboard. Then, he can distribute them, especially one to Father and Nightwing each. He would send one each to Red Hood and Arsenal too. Maybe one to Green Arrow too. _Perfect._ It can be a practice for graphic designing and making mock cards as well as revenge and _just being a little brother._ He and Brown can eat popcorn while watching the show: “Emotions Unravelling” (Father’s reaction and him processing, Brown likes to call it that) instead of a movie that day.

They all want him to act young, like a child, like his age. _He is so going to do that._

Right now though is not the time to rub his hands in glee like a maniacal villain-of-the day of a children’s cartoon show. His brothers…both are going through some _things_ . They won’t talk about it. Not outright. And Damian has no idea how to help them. It is sad that he can come up with plans to be a younger brother and annoy his siblings but can’t think of a single thing or have a single clue to be a _good_ younger brother.

He is selfish; too used to being on the other side of the picture, being the one comforted, reassured, hugged and having a shoulder to lean on. He doesn’t know how _he_ can comfort them. Maybe he doesn’t have the solution to their problems but maybe they both have a solution to each other’s problems. _But they won’t talk! Even though they teach him the exact opposite thing._

He places the cups, now filled, on the tray as he gets an idea. He takes the tray to the room, successfully. But the extent of the success was only until there as there is a sudden loud explosion in the background and he jumps, the tray almost dropped from his hands if not for his own reflexes and another pair of hands helping and supporting the tray. He looks at the owner of the hands. Richard says nothing as he takes the tray from him. Damian pulls a small table, placed beside the opposite wall in the room, dragging it and placing it near the bed. Richard places the tray on it, which is full of the spilled content now. Only half of it remains in each cup. Damian doesn’t know whether to be sad or to be glad because, on one hand, half of it is wasted. While on the other hand, if the taste is anything like he expects it is, at least _they_ won’t be. Wasted that is.

Murdered by youngest-brother’s-first-attempt-at-something-that-was- _supposed-_ to-be _hot chocolate_ won’t be a cool way to go, as Todd would say.

He sees his brothers both have woken up now. Or rather, the clanging sound of the cups have woken them up because Damian couldn’t handle even such a trivial thing that woke them up. Jason has produced some tissues and cloths from his bedside drawer and is now cleaning the cups from where they have gotten dirty in the tray. Richard, having joined him, is also busy with cleaning the mess on a cup and the tray. His brothers have to clean _his_ mess when they both themselves are looking like a mess. He can’t…he shouldn’t have let his grip loosen or the sound startle him.

They clean the mess quickly, taking the cups from the tray and placing them on the table now instead. Turning to him, Richard smiles at him. “Thank you for making it, kiddo.” No doubt trying to make him feel less bad. Damian hates himself, more.

They don’t say anything about the taste but both of them look more awake. Damian winces internally. At least they are still alive.

He doesn’t think he had been much of a help. Neither of them knows how to comfort Richard. And Richard may not even know that Todd needed comforting too tonight. They don’t know what hurts the other person and what is better when comforting that person and for which thing. Or maybe that is just a ground of uncertainty and ill footing where only Damian stands.

Feet in their blanket and fighting on chips between them in a bowl while pointedly ignoring each other, his elder brothers look almost peaceful.

Damian decides to risk it.

“I have an idea.”

“Oh?”

“You both are always teaching me to share my feelings and – “

“Liar!”

“Jay.”

“I never taught you any wise thing in your life.”

“ _Jay”_

“Please don’t imply such humble things about me.”

Damian took a deep breath. He can do this. It can go good. _(Unlikely.)_ It can go at the very end of the Things-Damian-has-tried-with-good-intentions-but-they-spiralled slope. _(Very likely. As likely as Father right now sneaking his share of cucumber sandwiches to the companions down the table and smiling at Alfred telling him that he_ ** _loved_** _the meal, thank you.)_

“You”, he points at Richard, “are always teaching me about talking and sharing my feelings.” “And you”, he points at Jason, “are teaching me the importance of boundaries, in your life if not mine.”

They both blink.

“And neither of you are following your own teachings.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“There are a lot of things we don’t know about each other. And we also don’t know how to help each other about that when the time comes.”

“Are you going to force us to share?”

Damian shakes his head. This is already going bad.

He brings a jar from the table in the living room and some papers from the stacks of it nearby. “I have this idea…inspired by a show.

He looks at them who just motion at him to go on.

“We can write some words on some pieces of paper. One word on each piece. Fold the paper. Put it in this jar, shake the jar, then uncap it.”

“And then?”

“One of us picks a slip and unfolds it and shares something about the word prompt we got.”

“Share what?”

“What we associate with the word. Good memories. Bad memories. Some anecdotes. Trauma. Things that can help in dealing with them, if we know. “

“You mean things that can potentially trigger us and if we know how to help it or how it can be avoided.”

“ _Yes”_

“Is this necessary?”

“Not really. You both don’t have to agree with this.”

“And we won’t do it?”

“And we won’t do it.”

“Why should we consider doing this?”

Damian sighs.

“Just humor me, ‘kay?”

“We don’t know much about what the other person goes through. Or how to help them when they are going through that.” Damian tries. “And those things aside, we don’t know much about what the other person even _misses._ Or at least I don’t.”

“If anyone wants to skip a word, they can.”

He had not expected them to agree. They do what he said earlier. Write some words on some pieces of paper. One word on each piece. Fold the paper. Put it in the jar, shake the jar, then uncap it.

He takes deep breaths. He was the one who suggested this idea in the first place. He can feel the anxiety and hesitation seeping off not just from him but from both the figures on each side. He can do this. They can do this.

“Bullet”

He can do this. He can share _his_ weakness. Can maybe somehow convince them that it’s okay to share theirs too. The mistake of showing weaknesses, in the past, used to be met with death. Damian might be feeling dead all over again, right now.

"I still sometimes feel the bullets as if they are embedded in my spine." 

"Bullets in your spine…" 

He had forgotten Todd didn’t know. He doesn’t miss Richard tensing a bit either, blaming himself. He didn’t mean for this activity to make them feel like _they_ were responsible for something they were not at fault at.

"They are not there anymore. But sometimes…my mind and body forget it" 

"I wasn't aware…I didn't know." 

"Not many know…"

"You and I can… later. Maybe I can help you cope with the pain which is not there anymore”, Todd says and Damian in response leans more towards his brother’s side.

“Skin”

"Sometimes I still feel the nanobots crawling in my skin from inside to outside." 

"That's creepy" 

"It creeps _me_ out"

"It is creeping us out too. And we are not the ones who have actually felt that."

"Sometimes I wake up, feel that and then I am unable to go back to sleep. If it continues even during the day or night; whenever I have to interact with people, if anyone touches me, I feel my skin crawling."

"Is there anything we can do to help with this?" 

"I don't think so. Or at least I don't know yet. Maybe…no movies with those robotic bugs or spiders crawling…, if that's okay?" 

"We will be careful about that." 

"Do you both have something to share?"

"When I "woke up", it was dark and suffocating. I dug out. The mud and splinters…I still feel them in my nails. Skin felt rotten even though it was not really that. And I have nightmares of bugs and worms crawling on my skin."

“Anything we can do to help or anything you want us to avoid?”

"No movies or videos with rotten skin, damaged nails, worms and gore. I know we see gore on at least a weekly basis with the lives we lead. But I…its depiction in fiction makes me uncomfortable?" 

"We will be careful about that." 

"Jay, do you…want a hug?" 

"I will be fine. Besides, sometimes let others hug you and care for you. It doesn't always have to be vice versa." 

"I am fine!" 

"Richard, you taught me it's okay to not be fine."

"But I am" 

Damian hugs both of them and quotes that he wanted a hug instead.”

“Machine”

“You both were worried because of me earlier…”

“You were hurt”

“I knew where I was and what was happening but then suddenly I was strapped to a chair and then it was the murder machine.”

“Where I found you, there _was_ a machine.”

“Guess it whirring and mechanical noises might have disturbed me.”

“Cigarettes”

“Did ya know those sticks kill hunger?”

Damian stares.

“When I was on the streets, at one point they became something, I would…”, Jason shrugs then continues, “They are easy to sneak from a pocket and almost no one notices when one or two goes missing. For them, it is two cigarettes missing. For a starving kid, it is less stressful for two more meals.”

“Less stressful?”

“You don’t have to worry about the next meals, ya know?”

“When I came back, I once tried to smoke. It resulted in a panic attack.”

“Because they are not good for you.”

“Smoke. Lungs. Jason. Crowbar.”

"Claustrophobia"

"Who is going for this one? Besides me." 

"Me" 

"Me" 

"All of us have claustrophobia…" 

"Since I was young" 

"Since I woke up in a coffin" 

"Since I was buried alive" 

  
  
  


“Violin”

“I play the violin and I like it?”

“You play the violin?”

“Yeah, sometimes we team-up. Damian plays the violin and I play my guitar.”

“Rip Bruce’s ears.”

Richard kicks Jason in his shin.

Damian comments, “This time, you deserved it.”

“Whose side are you on, matchstick?”

“Neither’s.”

“Needles”

“Keep any and all forms of needles away from me. Please.”

“Photograph”

“We don’t have many photographs”

“Wait, all of us…”

“Circus didn’t have a camera. We used to live the moments and savour them. Photographs for posters were another thing. Family photos...they were a rarity. 

“So there _are_ some photographs. One is of my parents, taken years ago before I was born. One of mine with my father. A photo slash poster of us three.” 

“At that time, photographs were...I didn’t get the appeal of them much. Sometimes, I still don’t. They were tangible things, only capturing one moment and overlooking thousands of others like them or better than them. Where you regularly defy gravity, believe in flying and magic, your uncle eats fire and performs, and your aunt tames lions, photographs...they seemed overrated. 

“It was until I lost everything _,_ that I started missing the lack of photos, sometimes.”

“I will kill you both if you told anyone and I mean _anyone_.”

“What are we supposed to not tell?”

“My most prized possession is a photo in a photo frame. It travels with me.”

“Whose photo is it?”

“Mine.”

“Yours?”

“Mine and Bruce’s!”

“I will tell B.”

“I will kill you.” 

“Surely you both don’t want the disgusting sludge of a hot chocolate to be your last meal?”

That does get him two surprised looks.

“Laughter”

“One of my favourite memories is when B and I met.”

“Father and laughter in one story?”

“ _Yes.”_

“I don’t know the story.”

“Mhm. So you all know I stole the tires of the batmobile. But you don’t know the full story.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. When he caught me stealing the tires, and that’s _only_ because I decided to steal more of them instead of one or two, I hit him with a tire iron.”

“You did what?”

“Then I said something to him and ran. He _laughed_. Later I learned that it was his parents’ death anniversary that night. And the spot where he had parked his vehicle was the spot where they had died. That was the first time on that date, he had laughed.”

“And that’s how I got my big brother”, Damian said awed and surprised even himself.

“This is _weird._ Normally, parents weave tales to the kids how the younger one came. Here, we have to tell my younger brother how his _elder_ brother came.”

That got a laughing reaction from Richard so Damian counted that as a victory, rather than having slipped up.

“Detention”

“I ended up in the Juvenile Detention Centre when my parents died.”

“ _Juvenile_ _Detention Centre?_

“That’s not fair!”

“Nothing is.”

“Book”

“Book right now reminds me that our book club reading is delayed and of my assignment.”

“Delayed? Again? Why are our book club’s meeting and reading getting delayed?”

“Ask Father. I don’t know either.”

“Wait, you all are in a book club? Why do I not know about it and why am I not a part of it?"

“I thought you were in a lot of clubs already.”

“Not the book club where you all three are.”

“I thought you invited him.”

“I thought you invited him.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Do you want to be a part?”

“Thank you for such an early invitation.”

“That’s your fault.”

“It’s your fault.”

“Jason, Damian. Next card.”

“Mob”

“I was once part of a mob.”

“You are lying?”

“Nope.”

“He worked _in_ the mob. I _was_ the mob.”

“Caught”

“This should be “I haven’t been caught…”

“I haven’t been caught sneaking, stealing and munching on black peppers, powdered sugar and fennel seeds.”

Damian pointedly stays quiet. Richard continues, “And I haven’t been caught sneaking into my brother’s apartment and leaving before he wakes up.”

“How do you know?”

“I told you your hairline was receding.”

“Dick, tell him my hairline is _fine._ ”

“I can neither deny nor vouch to that.”

“ _Dick”_

_“_ Your dandruff gave it away.”

“This is unfair!”

“Anyways, I brought this up to tell you both that you don’t have to “steal” or “sneak”. You can have it.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Dick groans. This time Jason has adjusted his feet and does not get kicked in the shin.

“Dog”

“I always wanted a dog. I am too busy with my schedule though.”

“if you weren’t, would you have a dog?”

“I would love to.”

“What would you name it?”

“I never thought about it.”

“When I was younger, we used to have a dog. His name was Sparky.”

“That’s a better name than your current friend.”

“What is its name?”

“Dog.”

“Yeah, its name”

“Dog.”

“Your dog's name is Dog?”

“ _Yes”_

“And everyone says that _my_ naming is bad.”

“That it is!”

“Where is _Dog_ right now?”

“She is sleeping in her room.”

“Her room?”

“She claimed my previous room as hers.”

“Sword”

“I love swords. But the wounds from the sword are not fun.”

“They always looked cool.”

“Jay!”

“But then again I was not the one who got to be a seekh kebab”

“ _Seekh kebab…Seekh kebab!”_ Damian says as he bursts out laughing. He doesn’t know why but he found it funny.

“Shorter height though…”, Jason drawls.

“Excuse me.”

“Dami!”

“I am the exact height of seekh kebab!”

“…Wait, _what!”_

Jason and Damian both laugh because they find it funny. Richard, however, groans. Jason gets a glint in his eyes and Damian has a feeling that soon it is going to be Damian’s turn to be groaning.

He also knows that they all shared a lot tonight but still didn’t share much. It won’t take an evening for them to open up to each other completely. But they can try. Bit by bit.

Jason catches Damian’s eye and motions for him to follow out.

Damian does so. In a room, there are boxes and Jason picks out one. Tells him that it is one of his presents. Damian opens it and finds a hoodie. He slips it on. It is very comfortable. Todd pulls up the hood and then indicates towards the mirror.

Oh.

Oh no.

He likes the hoodie. But the glint in those eyes is back. And Damian already knows what is going to be said next. He is also surprised when he agrees.

Dick is lying in the blankets, waiting for them. His eyes are closed but he is conscious. Jason again boops his nose. Just before he can retaliate, “I got you a present.”

Damian right now can’t see the face but he knows Richard must be blinking.

“What present did you get me?”

“One that would make you very happy.”

“What is it?”

“A teddy bear.”

“A teddy bear. Jason, seriously.”

“Here”, he picks Damian up from behind him. Damian tries to keep the expression on his face smooth. He does not need a mirror to know that in a hoodie with its hood like a toy bear’s head and a bow instead of the hoodie strings and a card attached reading, “Thank you.” Damian is pretty sure Jason attached the wrong card but he is not going to voice it. Nope.

Dick stares for a minute. Then a smile slowly spreads across his face. Reaching out to get Damian from Jason. “Thank you, Jay.”

He hugs Damian or his present, Damian no longer knows. Internally, he swears revenge. He is going to swap the gift he had originally wrapped for Todd and replace it with a book, in a series, which ends on a cliffhanger. And because he is not heartless, he is going to give him the original gift too; the set of bookmarks he painted for him.

Richard hugs him tighter.

“Thanks, kiddo.”

“Hey, give me too.”

“Why? My gift!”

“My brother!”

“My little brother.”

“Mine first!”

“Technically mine first!”

Alright. They all are going to be just fine. Damian curls and goes to sleep. He misses the two pairs of hands adjusting blankets on him and kissing his forehead. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments and bookmarks are always welcome and appreciated <3


End file.
